An Interesting Development

I'm sorry I haven't posted much this week, but I've been busy with another work transition. It's something that was in the works for a while, but I couldn't really talk about it. As of the new year, I will be the new supervisor of my department! This week I have been "unofficially" learning my new job. So what does this mean for me?

• I won't be doing as much direct patient care, but I do intend to help my coworkers out when I can so I don't lose my skills. Also, I probably won't be able to help myself. I like the clinical side.
• I now get the hassle of making out the schedule for all 51 staff members at both campuses.
• I get a set schedule of Mon-fri. Which is both nice, and annoying. Nice because I don't work weekends, but annoying because I'm used to working 12's and only being there a few days a week.
• No more holidays. 'Nuff said.
• I do have a beeper which, depending on the day, can be a real pain in the ass.
• I also get a 10% raise. Hollah!

I'm both excited and nervous about this new development. Excited because I can do and learn some new things, and nervous because I know there will be people who will challenge me. We'll just have to see how it all turns out!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year's!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the whole Spoonful Family.

Oprah May Be the Devil

I have never particularly been a fan of Oprah. This goes back to when I was in college and was an audience member for her show. When the camera's are off she's not very nice.

Also, around that time I worked at Borders Books and would dread every book club announcement. Did you know that book stores are not told of the selection in advance? This is because until she announces her selection she can change her mind. Many of the books she would pick we would only have 1 of on the shelf. After the "big announcement" there would be hundreds of lemmings calling or coming into the store claiming that "Oprah said" they had to read this book and how dare we be out of it.

So you can imagine how long it's been since I'd actually seen an episode. A few mornings ago I was flipping channels and stopped at Oprah's Favorite Things episode. She gives away some pretty cool things. What amazed me however was the audience. There was a man rolling on the floor and sobbing over a Nikon camera. A woman was literally banging her head on the wall and sobbing over a diamond watch.

This, to me, does not seem like a proportional response.

I mean the frenzy this audience worked themselves into over stuff was appalling. Granted it was really cool stuff, but come on! I have never seen anything like it in my life!

I'm sure some of you have seen these episodes. Are they all like this, and what do YOU think of it?

The Santa Question

I distinctly remember the moment I knew there was no Santa.

I was nine years old. There had been rumors circulating since I was in kindergarten and one snarky little boy told everyone in class. I chose not to believe him because my mother said that he was a bad little boy that Santa probably didn't visit anyway. I was never one of those kids who searched the house for my presents. I loved the surprise of Christmas morning so much I never even tried. It was a random day two weeks or so before Christmas and my mother was in the bathroom calling to me that she was out of toilet paper and could I bring her some. I went into the laundry room where we kept the spare toilet paper and saw a big black garbage bag and peeking out of the top was Topple (remember Topple?). The game I had specifically asked for from Santa.

I have never had a good poker face. Everything I am thinking is always blatantly showing all over my face. I'm sure my mother could tell there was something wrong. I was conflicted the rest of the day and eventually my mother asked me if I had seen my presents. I nodded. Did that mean there was no Santa I asked. No she said. I was quiet for a moment. And no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either? Nope she said.

Finding out about Santa is not only a rite of passage for us all, but it's also the death of magic. Up until then we have that blind belief that anything's possible. We believe in Santa, and unicorns. We believe that our parents are perfect and can fix anything. It's kind of sad when those beliefs are gone.

That's not to say that I won't tell Jackson about Santa. I want him to have that magic. Even if it's only for a short time.

How old were you when you stopped believing?

My Grown-Up Christmas List

Not too long ago, my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas. When you're a kid, you can rattle off a list of Barbies, My Little Ponies, and Strawberry Shortcake like nobody's business. As an adult, I had to really think.

Here's what I really want for Christmas and it can't be bought.

1. A clean house
2. A date night with Spiderman
3. An extra 8 hours in the day to get everything done
4. To lose 20 lbs
5. 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (not just 8, I'm greedy like that)

What's on your Christmas list this year?

Just Good Enough

Maybe it's my flair for drama, but I have always been prone to periods of melancholy. PPD was one of the things I feared most about having a baby. I wouldn't say that I have it, but sometimes I do feel very overwhelmed and a bit blue. I'm such a perfectionist and expect so much from myself that I seem to never live up to what I expect I can do. Motherhood is tough. I worry about not being a good mother. That when Jackson is fussy or cries too much it's a reflection on my parenting.

I worry about spending enough time with him. I worry that my husband will die and I'll have to do it myself. I worry that I will die and my husband will remarry and that woman will be mother to my child. I already hate this imaginary woman. I'm that crazy.

I'm sure it's a combination of hormones (I still haven't started my period again, umm...when will that happen?), being overtired, stress about $$ and the holidays, and upcoming changes at work(more on that later). I'm sure as time passes I will either get better at managing everything or resign myself to being "just good enough".

Exercise is good

Since I'm off today, I decided to assemble Jack's exersaucer. He loves to stand and would do it all day if he could. Which makes it hard to get anything done, so I dug it out of the crawl space and decided to see if he likes it.

So far, so good. There is plenty there to keep him occupied and he liked the bouncy-ness of it.

But mostly?

He just wants to suck on it. Apparently it's yummy too.

I Hate Snow

So I started my morning off in a ditch.

I had to work this morning and left my house at quarter to six. We'd had some snow this weekend so I always leave extra time to get to work so I can be careful. I was only a few blocks from my house on a side street when I hit a patch of ice and slid off the road. I wasn't really that far from the road, but just enough to need a tow truck. I have never called a tow truck before. I called Spiderman who gave me some numbers. The first number said they'd send someone right out. I put my hazard lights on and waited. 15 minutes later, a tow truck pulled up. I couldn't remember who I called and assumed it was them. The guy said that since I'd already called someone, he wouldn't "poach". I was like fine, whatever, I'll just sit here in my ditch then. As he was pulling away, I got a phone call on my cell from the other company saying they had to go to an accident and I should call someone else. F***!! I could still see the other guys tail lights, but he wouldn't come back! So I had to start over and call someone else.

And wait.

I finally got to work and was only 35 minutes late, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.

And to think it's only the beginning of December, much more snow to come....

Happy Thanksgiving

Just a few things I'm thankful for this year.....

Jammies with Turkey feet.
And this happy little guy.
Hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

AMA's

Did anyone else see the American Music Awards last night? I only saw parts of the show. I thought Pink and Usher's performances were pretty awesome. Again, I wish I could dance. I wasn't really aware of what Justin Beiber sang until I saw him perform. Not bad for a fetus.
I missed the performance by NKOTB and Backstreet Boys, but I watched it today on YouTube. There's nothing sadder than aging former boy bands. There's a kind of air of desperation about them.
My favorite part of the night? Taylor Swift's new look.

I think she looked so stylish and polished. I almost didn't recognize her. I love the straight hair and bangs. It was time she changed it up a bit.

What did you all think?

Ventilator Madness!!

For all my respiratory homies out there, here's a funny video I found:

I Think Shopping is in Order

Dear Prince William and Kate Middleton,

Congratulations on your engagement. I will be anxiously awaiting my invitation. I already have the perfect hat.

Warmly,
Sarah

Balance

Now that I'm back at work I have a new appreciation for working mom's everywhere. How do they balance it all and work full time? Especially with the mommy guilt. I try to be the best wife/mother/worker/sister/daughter/friend I can be and it seems like I keep coming up short somewhere. How to give everyone a bit of my time so as not to feel neglected. And keep up with the day to day maintenance of life. Grocery shop, pay bills, do laundry, clean house....blog. I need to go to the health club more to work off this "baby" weight and that's a whole other hour away from Jack. Everything that takes me away from him makes me feel guilty. Especially on the days I work and don't get to see him all day.

It's a little overwhelming.

Any suggestions?

Survival

I made it through my first day back at work. My charting is ridiculously slow. It took me forever to get through my patients today. Partly because of the new charting and partly because everyone kept stopping me to ask after Jack. And to look at the photo album I brought. (what kind of mom would I be if I didn't have one?) Thank goodness for my coworker Heidi or I never would have finished!

There were so many worries I had going back. That I would miss too much. That he would like the sitter more than us. I just had to tell myself that it would be the same amount of hours away from me a day when he went to school. Did I want to be one of those freak moms who pressed their faces against the window of his kindergarten classroom? I think it would be harder for me then because I'd have 5 years more of attachment. He ended up doing fine. And I did too. I didn't even call the sitter once. Everyone at work was impressed that I could resist it.

I was, however, worried about Spiderman. He had a routine dr's appt for his asthma yesterday and his blood pressure was very high. For someone who has never had any issues with this I was pretty worried. That's all I need is for my hubby to have a stroke! They referred him to a cardiologist and his appt was today. They gave him some meds, told him to exercise more, stay away from salt, and have an EKG. He has another appt in a month so keep your fingers crossed!

That's pretty much all for now since I'm completely exhausted.....

Dread

So.
Tomorrow is it. The day I go back to work. I'm pretty worried, but I have everything possible done tonight so I have very little to do in the morning. Spiderman will drop him at the sitter and I will pick him up. I've been having trouble sleeping the past few nights worrying about things. My brain just won't shut off. I just have to make it through the first day right? Then it will get better.

So tonight I'm going to take a bath, pop a unisom and head to bed.

Wish me luck!

The End of Respiratory Care Week

With last week being National Respiratory Care Week I'm going to take the time to mention one (of the many) of my work related pet peeves.
Asthma is a reactive airway disease. You are born with it. Like an allergy. Your airway comes into contact with an allergen and creates more mucus and constricts. This causes the wheezing sound associated with it. Wheezing, however, is not limited to asthma. There are other respiratory conditions that can make a person wheeze, like chronic bronchitis. Which leads me to my pet peeve.

You can not outgrow asthma.

When people say to me "I used to have asthma when I was a kid, but I outgrew it" it makes me crazy. Most of the time I politely correct them because I'm a nerd like that. I get irritated when people then look at me like I have no idea what I'm talking about because their sister/brother/cousin/self outgrew it. I mean it is only my JOB and all. It says it right in the title. RESPIRATORY therapist.

But anyway.....What I think happens is when dr's have a little one that wheezes they automatically think asthma. Which is good because with little airways asthma can be exceptionally dangerous. But the wheezing could be because the kid just has a cold (RSV-which is another pet peeve but we'll save that for another time shall we?) or some other respiratory condition. The treatment for wheezing is pretty much the same no matter what causes it so they label it asthma to cover their ass. Then they watch the kid. If the wheezing reoccurs continually and has a pattern to the recurrences then they're good because the kid probably has asthma. They then order a pulmonary function test....which is the only way to really diagnose asthma but can't really be performed until the kid is older.

If they never wheeze again or it only reoccurs a few more times the kid then has "outgrown" the asthma. And no one ever gets corrected. And the myth persists.....to make me nuts! Now if you have asthma as a kid that doesn't mean that it can't get better. You can get better at managing it. Avoid triggers and get on management meds. But if it truly is asthma you can still have an attack. I can't tell you how many asthmatics I have had in the ER who "outgrew" it until they had one bad attack that almost killed them.

And yes, Asthma can kill you. In high school a friend's sister had an attack and her airways closed off before she could get help. A former coworker had an attack and tried to drive herself to the hospital and didn't make it. It can happen. So to wrongly inform people that their disease can just "go away" is irresponsible.

In my opinion.

Happy Halloween!!

From my little dragon!

Spiderbaby

Daddy is so proud!

Big Changes Ahead

Today I took Jackson to the sitter for a trial run. It's so strange to be here in the house by myself. I almost don't remember what it's like to have a baby-free house. I miss him.

This trial run is only in part for him and the sitter. It's also for me. I need to get used to leaving him since I go back to work in two weeks. That's right, TWO WEEKS! I can't believe how fast that time went. I have to say I'm completely terrified and freaked out. Everything in my life has changed so much. I've changed so much. I'm not a huge fan of change and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle all of it. While I was gone the chamber got a new computer charting system. I'm going to have to learn it when I get back while I'm still doing my job as usual. So I can't even go back to my same routine at work. It'll be all f'd up. Plus I'll be stressed about Jack and missing him. I hope my coworkers help me out because I'm going to be a mess.

Then there's a tiny part of me that wants to go back to work. I miss my job. I miss the people. I'll be a little relieved to not be the only person responsible for Jack's care. Is that wrong? I'm sure that in a few weeks I'll have developed a new routine with work and Jack and won't even remember how scared I was. I just have to take everything as it comes and try to juggle what I can right?

So today I'll catch up on my blog, housecleaning, and maybe go the the gym. I'll make cupcakes and run errands.

And try not to drive by the sitter's house......

2 Months

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Turns out babies are a huge time suck. Especially mine. He's the most curious little boy. He's so nosy and is always looking around. He will NOT nap during the day. He actually fights it. I think he's afraid he will miss something. I can't really blame him cuz he's so stinkin' cute. And the nosiness? He gets from me. He loves to play with his exercise mat. It can occupy him for almost an hour. He's even started to grab at the things hanging. He does NOT, however, like tummy time. He gets so frustrated and the time usually ends in screaming and tears. I've never seen a baby more pissed off that he's a baby before. He wants to go go go and he can't. He's the happiest when he's standing up like a big boy looking around. Go figure.

He rolled over from his front to his back on Friday. We were both pretty excited, but I haven't been able to get him to do it again. You'd think he'd cured cancer the way I was applauding and carrying on. I'm just so happy that he's actually doing things. He's also very chatty like his mom. He's always cooing away even when he's by himself. It's super cute. The only way we can get him to nap is lying on one of us which is not very convenient if you want to actually DO anything with your day. But how can you get mad at this sweet little face? And those smoochin lips and cheeks? I'm surprised they're not chapped from the many kisses I give him.

Needless to say, I'm really dreading going back to work!

Sometimes He Drives me Crazy!

Things that irritate me about my husband:

• he would rather dress from the laundry basket than put his clothes away
• he believes that there is an infinite amount of time to complete any task
• he snores like nobody's business
• he spends most of his time watching sports, ESPN, or updating his fantasy team
• the rest of the time is spent watching cartoons (The Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park)
• his ability to not hear a screaming, crying baby that I can hear with ear plugs in, from the other room

Things that I Love about my husband:

• he is the carrier of all things heavy
• he has completely taken over litter box duty
• he never makes me mow the lawn
• he loves to make me dinner
• he likes to eat the edges of brownies and cakes so I can eat the middle pieces
• his butt

And most importantly....he puts up with all my crazy annoying shit.

Wordless Wednesday-My Cutie

A Night in Chi-Town

Spiderman and I spent the weekend in Chicago for our anniversary While Jackson spent the night at his grandma's. One of the first stops we made was at the Hershey store. I am a total chocoholic and LOVE the Hershey store. When I saw this I had to get it. It's the world's largest Reece's cups! I set it next to the remote control for the TV for scale.
Here's me trying my damnest to eat one of the cups. Even I couldn't finish it. Well, I could have if I wanted to make myself sick.

Then for dinner we went to a restaurant called Catch 35. It's a fancy seafood restaurant and OMG was it good. We had 1/2 dozen grilled oysters for an appetizer. I'd never had oysters before and they looked kinda like a giant booger, but they were great. Then I had halibut with a wine/butter sauce with crab meat and portobello mushrooms. I could eat that every day it was so awesome. Spiderman had scallops over Parmesan risotto. Everything was delicious and the scallops melted in your mouth. (of course I had to taste them too!) I think that's one of the perks of marriage. When you go out you get to try twice as many dishes because you get to eat some of your hubbys. Or maybe that's only me.

After dinner we took a cab to Old Town to see Second City. We've been to shows there before and I can honestly say I've never seen a bad one. That night was no exception. We had tickets for the 11 o'clock show and I was slightly concerned that I wouldn't be able to stay up for it, but after tons-o-coffee I made it through. Actually, I was still up and wired at 2am. At the show the couple in front of us was nice enough to take our "anniversary photo".

What do you think? My dress is new and supah hot. When you're a new mom, covered in spit up and barely able to shower it's nice to occasionally wear a hot dress.

A fun time was had by all.

Damn You James Cameron!

Is it just me or have you noticed that there are suddenly WAY too many movies coming out with the tagline "in 3D"? I blame James Cameron and the success of Avatar.
After that movie came out and was so successful we now have:
Step Up 3D
Toy Story 3D
Saw 3D
Piranha 3D
Megamind 3D
Jackass 3D

There may be even more, but I have stopped counting. I mean, seriously? What exactly is wrong with watching a movie in 2D again? I enjoy it. With my motion sickness, 3D makes me a little nauseous. I think we should protest and not see any movie that claims the 3D tagline.

What's your opinion on 3D? Love it/hate it? Enough already?

4 Years

Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary. We've been together 8 years total. This time last year Spiderman and I were in the Bahamas. It's hard to imagine. SO much has changed. We always take a picture on our anniversary and some time I hope to gather them all and put them in an album so we can see the changes every year. This is last year's. I was very smiley after drinking nearly an entire bottle of champagne by myself.

I love champagne.

Happy Anniversary Baby. I love you!

True and Funny

I received this email forward today and found it extremely funny and true. Being the lazy beast that I am I thought I'd share it with you instead of writing a real post so here goes:

Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Sorry For This Rant, But it Can't be Helped.

I'm going to warn you ahead of time. This post may piss some people off, but I am still compelled to write it because you know what? It's MY blog.

Today as I was driving home from my local Target, there were about 100 people lined up along the main drag of my little town. They were holding signs saying Abortion kills children, Abortion hurts Women, Adoption is the better Option, and Pro-Life. I think that the pro-life stance over simplifies a decision that is way more complex.

I don't think it's really appropriate to have the opposing sides be called pro-life/pro-choice. I mean we're all pro-life. No one in either party is pro-death are they? No one really wants to "kill" babies. I don't think that the women having abortions feel that they really have other options. I mean sure, they could give the child up for adoption. I considered adoption myself when I thought I couldn't have children. I still may.

I wanted to stop and ask the people holding signs how many adopted children each of them had. It's easy to "stand up" for the unborn and then not give two shits about them after that. Once they are born they're on their own aren't they? These people aren't going to adopt them, they aren't going to help raise them, and they sure as hell don't want to pay for them. I think it's more than a little hypocritical.

My opinion? Who the hell am I to make such a life changing decision for someone else when I personally don't have to accept responsibility.

As far as the religious implications of abortion? I think that's between the individual and their God. It seems to me it's the self righteous religious people who become obsessed with this cause. Of course THEY know how best for everyone else to live. Because they are such shining examples of perfection? Their sin-free lives should be an example to everyone? Puleeze!!! We as a people need to start worrying about our own lives and cutting others some slack. Who among us is so 100% sure that they're going straight to heaven that they can afford to spend time passing judgement on others. I doubt many can say that.

I mean, what are they really worried about? That NASCAR , Walmart, and holy-roller revival attendance will suffer if abortion is allowed? That jean bib overall production will plummet? Who will they feel better than if there are fewer welfare momma's and crack babies for them to click their tongues at?

*sigh*

Okay, I'm done spewing my anger.

Thanks for listening.

Dancing with a Star

I have always loved to watch people dance. I love musicals, America's next dance crew, and music videos. Anything where people are dancing all choreographed and in sync mesmerizes me. Unfortunately, when it comes to dance I have no rhythm or coordination. I wish I did.
Especially after watching this video:


It makes me want to join in. Do you think Usher would come to my house and teach me to dance?

Baby Crack

Since I am raising a little boy who eats like he's a teenager I have had to start giving Jack supplemental bottles of formula. My milk just cannot keep up. Plus, he's a much happier little guy when he sucks down the formula. We had several bottles of Enfamil that the hospital gave us of the premixed formula. Apparently this is baby crack. He would inhale that stuff and we went through it pretty quickly. Now we've moved on to the powder form which he digs, but not as much.

So what does this mean for me? I get slightly more sleep because Spiderman can give him a bottle. Also? I don't have to always whip my boob out in public. As much as I loved doing that, we had some logistical problems. The really cool nursing cover that a girlfriend gave me had polka dots on it and the bright print completely distracts Jack. He spends the whole time looking at it and can't focus on the goal. It takes twice as long to feed him with it. Another benefit of a breast milk/formula combo diet is when I go back to work. It will make things much easier for everyone involved if he can be fed by a sitter.

As for the sitter situation: it's still up in the air. I'm stressing about it because I go back to work in a little over 6 weeks and have NO idea where he's going. Part of me would like to put him in a sling and take him with me. I know exactly where in our department I could set up the pack and play and everything. Realistically that's just not possible. Plus I think it would be good for both Jack and I if I get some time away to be with big people. I need to work. Not just for the money, but for my sanity.

I joined a cool website called Care.com. It lets you post a job listing and sends you responses from people in your area. I've sent emails to a few to set up interviews so keep your fingers crossed. Also? If you happen to live in NWI and know of someone who watches infants can you let me know?

All you working mom's out there: What did you do about child care?

I'm A Bad Mother

Right now Jackson is sleeping in his swing. He does that a lot. I depend on that thing WAY too much. It's just that he loves it so and is so screamy when he's not in it. We've even moved it to our bedroom so that when he's up in the middle of the night I can put him in it and go back to bed.

Because people, I am tired.

How did I manage to get such a high maintenance kid? I mean, I'm not high maintenance or anything..... Little dude wants to be held like ALL.THE.TIME. And he's also starving. ALL.THE.TIME. My boobs can't keep up. Most of the time he just wants to use me as a very warm bodied pacifier. Spiderman doesn't see anything wrong with this. I think it's because he wishes he could too. We feed Jack and put him down at about 10pm. He's up anywhere from 1-3 to eat and then he's all wide eye'd like "hey what's on TV?" The other night we watched back-to-back Three's Company's at 3am. 3AM!! When did I give birth to a club kid?

Last weekend I very much needed a break. On saturday I left Jack for the first time for the afternoon. At noon I went to get my hair done and then went to the mall with a girlfriend while he stayed home with Dad. We only meant to be gone for a few hours but I ended up coming home at 6:30pm. I felt so guilty. Because I actually forgot I had a baby for a little while. When I got home it was like I forgot what he looked like. I felt so bad! Then on Sunday my mother came over and watched him while Spiderman and I went to dinner and a movie. We mostly talked about Jack and wondered what he was doing. It was so weird.

I don't even want to think about what it'll be like when I go back to work!

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Jack and I are going to be too busy spending the day with Grandma today to post anything real.
Maybe tomorrow.

One Month

I can't believe that Jackson is a month old today! Does that mean his warranty is up? He is getting so big. He's already outgrowing his newborn clothes and jammies. It makes me a little sad to pack them away.

We've done a lot this past week. We went with Daddy to watch his first Football Sunday. Notice the matching jersey's? I got his at Babyland for $4. How awesome is that?

My two bad ass dudes.

Yesterday he just discovered that there are things hanging above his swing. He has been swinging in that thing all month and yesterday he was all when did that get there? It's amazing to see him learn new things every day. I'm kind of jealous of that. I mean when was the last time you stared at your hand for an hour and thought. How cool is that?

I haven't really posted much this week because we have also been dealing with a new problem. I call is Dr. Jackson and Mr. Hyde. During the day he's all sweet and cute and smiley.

And then suddenly around 7 or 8pm he becomes all screamy and inconsolable.
This usually lasts till around 2 or 4am when everyone passes out. Every night. Needless to say no one is getting much sleep around here and we're all a little edgy. I also have a permanent set of dark circles and a head cold. I don't know what to do for the little guy. We've tried Mylecon drops, pumping his little legs, massages, warm compresses, driving, singing, reading, swinging, tummy time, giving up dairy, giving up pop (not helpful with all the tired), giving up practically all foods in general. I have thought about leaving him in a basket on some one's doorstep, but I would miss the little booger.

Last night, at around 8 I have him a 2 oz bottle of formula that we had left over from the hospital with a boob milk chaser. He ate again at midnight fussed for 30 minutes and fell asleep.

Until 7 am.

I thought he was dead.

Both Spiderman and I got up every hour to check on him, but he was just sleeping. Like a baby. He woke up this morning all content and smiley with a diaper that weighed at least 10 lbs in pee. Go figure. I guess we'll try the formula thing again tonight and I'm also going to start him on a pro biotic my pediatrician recommended. Hopefully, he'll have another good night.
We don't want the return of Mr. Hyde.

Did I SAY you could take a picture of me?

If it doesn't work, does anyone have a nice basket I could borrow?

TV Night

It's no surprise to my reader(s) that I love me some TV. I always have. I also have a tendency to become addicted to shows. ie True Blood, Alias, Greys Anatomy....
This week I have discovered a new show. We Channel's My Fair Wedding with David Tutera. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! It totally makes me want to have a wedding again. That's a huge deal since I thought planning and preparing for my wedding was the biggest pain in the ass. I hated every minute of it. But I totally love David Tutera. He's such a sweetie and I think he could be my new BFF. I just want to hang out with him and go to lunch or something.
Today I watched back-to-back episodes where the brides had themes that were just awful. One was a Texas bride who wanted a cowgirl theme complete with farm animals and purple cowgirl boots to wear with her wedding dress. The other was a bride who wanted a Pirate themed wedding. What I cannot believe is that David took these themes and made them elegant and beautiful. He also made changes and dealt with the brides in a way that did not insult them or make them upset. I don't know if I could be that nice. I mean, the episode that's on now? She has a plum colored bejeweled wedding dress with a rhinestone covered magic wand and her bridesmaids are dressed as peasants. WTF? But here's David trying to "understand" her concept.

I love him.

I'm also excited because tonight is not only the season premiere of the Vampire Diaries, but the pilot of Nikita. About 10 years ago I was totally addicted to La Femme Nikita. It would come on around 1am and I was working 3-11's at the time. By the time I got home from work, ate something and showered, it would be on. I watched it EVERY night. I'm interested to see what this new version brings. It looks to be the story of La Femme Nikita but with the feeling of Alias. How could that be bad?

Has anyone else seen these shows? What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

Jack says, Happy Hump Day!

Poor Little Kitties

Someone is dozing in his swing (thank God for that thing!) and is allowing me some time to post.

I'm sure some of you are wondering how my furry babies are handling the arrival of the newest baby. The answer? Surprisingly well. They are curious about him and smell him a lot, and are terrified of him when he cries. They have also discovered some advantages to having a baby around. Boxes. They Love them. I have been trying to spend a little individual kitty time with them, but it's hard since someone else takes up most of my time right now. I feel kinda bad for them, but I'm sure once the "newness" wears off from being a parent and I get into some kind of routine I will be able to focus on more than just Jack.

Until that happens? At least they have each other.

He's a Model Baby

Somebody has his days and nights mixed up a little this week. I haven't really been sleeping well and today I have a Massive Headache. Not that I would EVER do this, but I can see where shaken baby syndrome comes from. It can be very frustrating to be exhausted and up with a child who won't stop screaming for hours. It's a good thing he didn't start acting like a jerk till now or we would have left him at the hospital. (Just kidding mom!)

Also? He's seriously cute, even when he's screaming bloody murder. He has this cry that sounds just like the Count on Sesame Street. As promised, here are some of the photo's from Jack's shoot with Beth Fletcher Photography this past weekend. The pictures are gorgeous!

Here's a family one that I just HAVE to frame:
And here's my smiley guy, he smiles a lot and I don't think it's all gas! I have the perfect frame for this one.

Now here's where I need your help. I'm looking for another one to blow up and frame with the family picture. I can't decide between this one:

or this one:

I like that Jack has his eyes open in the second one, but the colors are so luscious in the sleeping one. We'll definitely get copies of all the photos she took (too many to post here), but I only want a few to blow up and frame.

Help! Which one do you like best?

Catching Up.

Let's see....what's new? I still have a baby. I still dig him. It's surreal. I keep expecting his parents to show up and get him.
I haven't really left the house too much. Last week, there was a day that wasn't so stiflingly hot and Spiderman took Jack and I to the bookstore. Afterwards I just couldn't bear going back in the house. I went to sit in some Adirondack chairs that I have set up in my front yard. We've really been slacking on the weed front this summer as I haven't really been able to do much and I had to pull up several weeds to get to the chairs. Come to find out, not all of them were weeds.

Some of them were poison ivy.

Yep. I now have poison ivy.

On top of still recovering from a c-section I am also covered in poison ivy. My arms, legs and abdomen. It's just awesome. And itchy.

So to recap? I am tired, achy (my incision), and itchy. So yeah, tons of fun. But this past weekend Jack had a photo shoot with a Fabulous friend and photographer and I'll post some of the pics from that soon. I'm having trouble deciding between a few of them to frame and I want some opinions. But for now, I'll go since I can hear a little munchkin waking from his nap.

See? I CAN Still Post About Non-Baby Stuff!

Is it possible to gain weight from watching the Food and Cooking Network all day long? When I was in the hospital I had limited cable channels, but I did have the Food Network and HGTV. Since I've been home those seem to be the two things I watch the most of. Jack seems to like it, and it is one of those things you can have on as background noise and not be irritated by it. Now the E! Channel, on the other hand, is my guilty pleasure. Spiderman sighs and rolls his eyes when I watch E! News or the Kardashians. I have to watch it on the sly. This has become really hard for me since he's been home with Jack and I these past 2 weeks.

One afternoon I did get to watch several old episodes in a row while he was out running errands. I came across the episode where Kourtney gives Khloe a bikini wax and she claims she's also done anal bleaching on people. Hold on......what?......anal bleaching? I was all WTF is anal bleaching? Of course I had to Google that shit. Apparently when you have all the hair removed from your lady parts you notice that your butt hole is a darker color than the skin around it. And some people feel the need to bleach it to make it more aesthetically pleasing.

Aesthetically pleasing? It's your butt hole for crying out loud. It's where poop comes from. That in itself is not all that pleasing of a concept. Maybe it's me and my irritable bowel, or the fact that I don't have a lot of traffic in that general area but this seems a bit excessive. I mean, are they getting complaints or something? Any guy who is lucky enough to be back there should thank his lucky stars and not be critiquing anything!

Tell me, what's your opinion on the topic? Am I getting really old, or does this seem a little much?

Wordless Wednesday- I think I have a Picture Taking Problem

Already a Week Old

I'm going to start this post by admitting something: I have never really liked babies.

*gasp*

When I tell people this they probably think I'm a horrible person. I mean babies are cute and all, but I usually prefer them when they're several months old and actually start doing things. When ever one of my friends would have a new baby I would hold them and coo over them, and then get bored pretty quickly and hand them back. I realized all this when I first got pregnant and was prepared to totally wait out the next few months until he was older and "more fun".
What I wasn't prepared for is to be totally and completely smitten. I could hold him and watch him all day long. It really is different when it's your own child. I think he's pretty cool. When he sleeps he's a cuddler and I love to smell his head and smooch his cheeks. When he's awake he's looking all around and loves to stare at my face and listen to me talk to him. He already has a little personality. The picture in the previous post where he's giving mommy the finger? He does that all on his own. A lot of the time. He is very into using his hands.

He's already my happy little monkey.
I mean who wouldn't love this sweet little face?

Our First Day Home

Can I just start by saying that I don't know why anyone would have a baby without an epidural?
It was fabulous and wonderful. I went into the hospital early Monday morning after having contractions 3 minutes apart. The Dr came in and broke my water (which was strange) and started me on Pitosin (which was horrible). The contractions were 30 seconds apart and were so awful that I thought I was going to die! Then they gave me the epidural. *sigh* I didn't feel a thing after that and even took a nap.
When I was finally dilated to 10 and ready to push it was about 4pm. I pushed for an hour and a half and little Jack's heart rate dropped with every push. They suspected the cord was wrapped around his neck and decided to do an emergency c-section. It all happened pretty fast and felt like and out of body experience. Even though the c-section was unplanned I'm glad that we had it. Turns out the cord was wrapped pretty tightly around his neck 3 times! I think it was all that movin' and shakin' he did.
We came home today and I'm still extremely sore but I have good pain meds.
Jack and I on the other hand are having eating issues. I want him to eat and he wants to sleep 14 hours a day. Part of me is like "that's my boy" but he needs to eat!!! He latches on, takes a few really good pulls and falls asleep. Other than the not eating, he's pretty cute. We like him. When he's awake he's very awake and a bit of a busybody. He looks at people when they talk like he's trying to focus on them. He also has a bit of a sassy attitude.
I wouldn't be a good mom or blogger if I didn't post some pics so here they are:

Here he is smiling at his Auntie Abbie.
Here he's chillaxin' on his boppy.

I was trying to get a picture of the alligator on his t-shirt and he decided to show me some of his attitude.

Spiderman loves him and pretty much wants to hold him All. The. Time.

So that's all I have the energy for today. I'm off to put my swollen feet up and take a percoset!

He's Arrived!

After over 12 hours of labor, 2 hours of pushing and an emergency c-section he has arrived!

Jackson Daniel Connelly 8/16/10 5:24pm

8 lbs 11 oz, 21 inches long

We are all pretty exhausted here, but I'm sure I'll have more to post later! (especially my opinion of the epidural)

What Every Baby Needs

Ninja Baby now has his very own nun chucks courtesy of my friend Angela. They're pretty awesome! Spiderman says that now his Ninja training can officially begin....if he ever comes out.

The Post Where I Talk about Poop.

Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart or shy of bladder that's for sure. I have peed in just about every single bathroom within a 20 mile radius of my house. There have even been times when I go to the store where that I use the bathroom upon first entering the store, do my shopping, and have to pee again before I leave. It's impressive. I could probably write reviews of all the bathrooms.

Pregnancy also does a number on your bowels. I have known many people over the years who tell me they can never poop in public. Actually, never poop anywhere other than their house. I have always found this amazing. Somewhere around the time of my parent's divorce (I was about 13) I developed a nervous stomach. Actually, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Certain foods and undue stress have me either constipated or running to the bathroom. I don't have the luxury of having poop hang-ups. When I gotta go, I gotta go. I don't care where I am. I even have a certain "private" bathroom off the ICU that I use at work. Strategic pooping. That's what I call it. The last few weeks of this pregnancy have definitely done a number on my stomach. I think it's because it's like Dance Party USA in there with Ninja Baby acting like a Solid Gold dancer and pushing on my stomach and intestines.

Another interesting pregnancy development? Weird ass dreams. Some of my favorites include dead friends and relatives, breaking into a pet store and stealing kittens, and pregnant pole dancing complete with black maternity thong panties. Cuz that's what people want to see, right? A hugely pregnant stripper.

Anyway.

I'm also including probably the last belly shot I'll ever take. Thank GOD!

38 Million weeks pregnant

If one more person asks me if I'm having twins I'm going to poke them in the eye.

Finally, A Post About Something!

Last week I was reading the newspaper and found an article about a woman in Illinois who was convicted of reckless homicide. She had been painting her fingernails while driving her car and hit and killed a woman on a motorcycle. PAINTING HER FINGERNAILS!?!?!?

I mean, when you get into your car and paint your fingernails that is a conscious decision to not even remotely pay attention to driving. She was saying to herself that the state of her nails was more important than driving. It's not like she was temporarily distracted. She never even tried to pay attention.

More shocking than this is the fact that after being found guilty she was only sentenced to 18 months of intermittent jail time. INTERMITTENT JAIL TIME?!?!? What does that mean? Well, it means that she only has to Sleep in the jail at night. During the day she can go to work, seek medical care, perform community service and attend therapy. So explain to me, HOW is this a punishment?

Oh, and why does she need to attend therapy? The article says that she is distraught by her situation and sees a therapist daily. Um.....yeah.....she should be distraught.....She KILLED someone because she's a vain idiot. A vain idiot who also thinks that her sentence is too harsh.

At what point do we start to accept responsibility for our own actions? Am I the only one who is irritated by this situation? Granted, I am guilty of talking on my cell phone while driving, but I think there has to be some kind of limit to driving distractions. I kinda think they should have made an example out of her and given her a bit harsher sentence.

What do YOU think?

Random Question

I have a few posts in mind that I'm trying to get the energy up to write (also muster up some righteous indignation). Until then, I have a question for you all. It has been in the 100 degree area all weekend. Perfect weather for ice cream eating.

So tell me, on an ice cream cone which do you prefer: hand packed ice cream or soft serve?

Porno for Preggos

Thanks to you all for your baby predictions. I think I favor the predictions that have him coming out earlier because I AM READY. I haven't been posting much because I can't focus. This is in part because I feel restless and because I can't seem to ever get comfortable. I keep trying to lure him out by promising to buy him toys. I used to promise him cake and candy, but who am I kidding, he gets those now.



I recently purchased this:

It's like porn for me. I have a major sweet tooth even without being pregnant and it's even worse now. It doesn't help that this cookbook has pictures. I just flip through the pages looking at all the pictures drooling. With recipes like caramel-chocolate mini bars, black bottom cherry cheesecake, dark chocolate truffle cupcakes, and raspberry champagne cream cake who can blame me?

While I'm on maternity leave, it is my goal to make as many of these desserts as I can.

Who wants to be my guinea pig?

I Hope He's Punctual

Do you all notice the baby ticker on my sidebar? Well today it is at 34 days. 34 DAYS!!! It's coming up quickly. You know what that means......

Time for baby predictions!

My Official Due Date is Aug 15th. I'm kinda hoping he'll be a little earlier than that. My grandfather who passed away when I was little's birthday was Aug 7th. I think it would be cool for them to have the same Birthday. Also I have a friend born on Aug 9th. She's pulling for that day. I was 10 days early and Spiderman was way premature at 29 weeks so we do have a family history of earliness. (of course that was the first and last time Spiderman was early for ANYTHING)

So tell me, when do you think this kid's gonna be born?

Feels Good To Be Clean

Like most people (I hope) I shower every day. I prefer to shower in the evening. There's something soothing about washing the day's filth and stink away before getting into bed. Plus it means I get to sleep in longer in the morning which I love, love, love. Not that I don't also sometimes shower again in the AM. I just prefer the evening.

Most days I shower out of necessity and habit. Another task to be done. Like brushing my teeth or doing laundry. I don't think about it. Then there are some days where I have what I like to call the Best. Shower. Ever.

Do you ever have those?

You know what I mean. When a shower is more than just a chore. It somehow refreshes and replenishes you. Washes away all the crap from the day and makes you feel great.
Some examples?

• When you shower after a long day of traveling, whether it be by plane or a long car ride.
• That shower after a day spent at the beach or pool and you are greasy and sticky with sweat and sunscreen.
• The first shower after you've been sick for several days. When your hair is gross and sticking to your face from a fever long broken and you've been in the same pj's for a few days.
• For me, when I've been working a 12 hour shift and I'm covered in god-knows-what and my own sweat. When my hair and body smell like old people and death.

So tell me, what are some of your contenders for Best Shower Ever?

A Little Guy's Room

So for the most part Ninja Baby's room is done. We're still waiting for his glider to come in but other than that, it's looking like somebody's bedroom. So I decided to take some pictures for you all.
Here's a picture from the doorway. The ceiling is painted blue with clouds.
Here's his closet. This kid already has a shit ton of clothes.....thanks in large part to Grandma. His dresser is also full. And you can also see I've been stockpiling diapers in various sizes.

The pictures over his changing table were drawn and painted by my mother for my playroom when I was little. I reframed them.

The toybox was also mine when I was little. My Grandfather made it for me and it's extra special to me as he died when I was 3.

Here's his little crib and bookshelf. Notice how full his bookshelf is? Hopefully he'll have his momma's love of reading. I don't think he'll have much of a choice.

And the turtle? It's actually a nightlight. On the top of the shell is tiny little stars that project themselves onto the ceiling when you turn it on. It's wicked awesome.

So that's it. His room. Just waiting for him.

What do you all think?