Friday, April 17, 2009

Justifiable Homicide

Today I am tired.

Veeeeeery tired.

I have to get up for work every day at about 5:20-ish. Spiderman, however, gets to sleep in several more hours as he doesn't have to be at work until 8, we live 5 minutes from his job, and let's face it, he's a boy they don't need much time to get ready! Because of the difference in wake up times, I go to sleep several hours before he does. Also, I'm a big fan of sleep. I Love, Love, Love it, and am really cranky if I don't get enough. Last night I went to bed at my usual time and left Spiderman up with his friend. They were having some beer and playing Wii boxing. You know, boy stuff.

He got into bed and fell asleep around 1:30 am.

And how do I know this?

My husband has supersonic snoring. I mean, I'm surprised China didn't call to complain. Because of this I sleep every single night with ear plugs. (sometimes I even get little pressure sores in my ears from them) When he drinks, the snoring gets worse. Last night he woke me up out of a dead sleep with ear plugs several times.

I'm sorry, but in the wee hours of the morning when you have only a few more hours to sleep after being woken up several times, I am not a happy person. At that time of the morning he is no longer my husband, my partner, the love-of-my-life.

He is just the source of All. That. Noise.

And he must be eliminated.

When he sleeps he also becomes over a thousand pounds. And can't be moved. Or rolled on his side so that he can fortheloveofgod STOP SNORING!
In those crazy sleep deprived moments, I seriously contemplate suffocating him. It would be so easy...... I would probably regret it though. He does lift all things heavy....and take out the garbage. Tonight my sister is coming over for some homemade pizza and Twilight viewing. I only hope I can stay awake!


Nichole said...

That is when you sleep in a different room and only sleep together when you get those magical cravings of horniness.

I don't know what I'd do if I slept with someone who snored. *cringes*

But I feel for you. And yes... your husband must be eliminated. :D

readsalot said...

Unfortunately for Eugene, I am the one that snores. He does too somethimes, despite his protests that he is a perfect sleeper.

On another note, I just bought Twilight yesterday and can't wait to watch it again. I become a total fangirl when it comes tot his series.

designHER Momma said...

you are not alone - I have a husband like that too. Every morning he wakes up, ask me "how I slept", and I want to punch him. It's so not fair...