When I'm 92

Spiderman and I were having an interesting conversation the other day. I told him that I want to live to be 92 years old. When I'm 92 I have all sorts of plans.

1. I'm going to dye my hair either red or burgundy.
2. I'm going to wear all sorts of outrageous clothes with bright colors and prints. I will also wear more hats. Fancy hats. To match my outfits....and my orthopedic shoes.
3. I love jewelry and hopefully by the time I'm 92 I will have an extensive collection to wear. With everything. Even sweatpants.
4. I will probably need to keep my glasses on a pretty beaded string so as not to lose them.
5. Two words. Red Lipstick.
6. I will force my children and grandchildren to drive me around because I plan on having many activities. Bingo, movies, book club, shopping, yoga. I plan to be a busy lady.
7. I will also probably embarrass above children and grandchildren by talking about sex, bodily functions, and cursing like a truck driver.
8. I'm hoping that I will actually shrink a little. It will add to my charm.

All of these are things that I could easily do now, but people would think that I'm a little strange. Well, stranger than they already think I am. One of my hang-ups is that I'm sensitive to what people think and say about me. Hopefully when I'm 92 I'll have gotten over that. I'll be free to do whatever I want because after all....I'll just be another crazy little old lady. After hearing this I'm sure Spiderman now hopes that I outlive him.

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