Homework Help

I have a dilemma. I have to write a short story for my fiction class. It's due in a week. It has to be 5 pages long.
On whatever I want.
I have NO idea what to write it about.
Well, that's not entirely true. I have a few ideas, but they all seem pretty lame. Here are some of my choices.
1. Tell the story about the night Spiderman and I met. (but longer and in more detail than the one I posted here)
2. Tell about one of the MANY horrible blind dates I went on before meeting Spiderman.
3. Tell one of my work stories about my strange patients.
4. A completely made up story inspired/suggested by one of you.

I could take one of my real stories and polish them up some, embellish if I have to to make it interesting. OR I could make something completely up. I just don't know.
Also, here's the kicker.

We have to read these aloud to the class.

I think that is what is giving me writer's block. The pressure to be interesting to a group of 25 people that I have never met before. I don't really know my audience. What if my story completely sucks. What if the person who goes before me is a completely fabulous, eloquent, profound writer and here I go talking about my lame blind date.

I'm sure whatever I write will be okay, but I can't help worrying a little bit. This is why I'm taking the class, after all. I want to be a better writer. I want to learn ways to do this. I want to get over my fears and hang ups. It's just scary.

So does anyone have any suggestions?
What should I do?

True Story

Official patient diagnosis listed on the chart:

1. Screaming for past hour (my favorite)
2. chicken bone stuck in throat
3. sick
4. diarrhea x3 months (sucks to be them)
5. Fingernail fell off

Swear to God! These were actual diagnosis I came across today.

In Desparate Need of Some Chocolate!

My day started a little rough today. I woke up with a monster migraine. So bad that it hurt to blink. It even hurt to move my jaw. After taking practically one of everything in my medicine cabinet this morning, the headache finally went away. Around 9am. After I'd been at work for over two hours.

Once I got to work I headed up to ICU (where I was assigned for the day). While I was making my morning rounds there was a code called. A patient had a dissected aortic aneurysm that ruptured when the patient coughed and blood was literally pouring from his mouth. We coded him unsuccessfully. My shoes, pants, and up to my elbows were covered in blood. Fun times.

I had a coworker cover my assignment at 10am while I had my hysterosalpingogram. I had heard from several people who've had this procedure done before that it was excruciatingly painful. Apparently I have a high tolerance for pain. I guess compared to a migraine it was nothing. I hardly felt it. My headaches are 100 times worse. I asked if they were going to start injecting the dye and he said they were already done. Everything appears to be in working order. No blockages....no cobwebs. They did mention that my "lady parts" were petite. I didn't realize they came in sizes. At least SOMETHING on me is petite! (It certainly isn't my ass) Hopefully this will be helpful. In researching the procedure I read that the percentage of people who get pregnant in the first 2-3 months after having one is really high. Sounds good to me.

After a day as exciting as this one, I'm spending my evening chillin'. I start class again tomorrow and my free time will be limited.

Wanna Scar Your Kids? Send 'em to Us!

This weekend we babysat for our niece and nephew. Our niece is 4 and nephew is 2.

Things were going great. We went to the park where they filled their shoes and pockets with the entire contents of the sand box to take back home. We had chicken nuggets and tater tots, a bath with bubbles and watched movies.

Spiderman has spent most of this time amusing himself with his new game "point out how Sarah will be a completely incompetent mother". So what if I almost flung our niece from the swing when I tried to stop it. So what if I can't get the car seat harness to snap right away prompting my niece to say "Auntie Sarah, you're not very good at this." Who cares that by 10am the next morning I was exhausted and ready for them to take their naps. Spiderman says that it's because I can't handle them. And you want kids of your own? he asks. He handles them better. Of course he does. He's not the one who woke up with them at 6am this morning. Instead he slept another 3 hours while we had breakfast that consisted mostly of them crushing Cap'n Crunch into the carpet. He's not the one who's been bathing them and wiping poopy butts. Speaking of poopy butts, can I just say...for a little guy who only ate 4 tater tots, and 2 bites of chicken nugget....he had a poop the size of a grown man at an all-you-can-eat buffet!

When nap time came is when we scarred the children. They were laying in the spare bedroom on the bed bickering, biting, and generally NOT napping. Spiderman suggested we separate them and take one of them into our bedroom. The devastation these two showed at being separated from the sibling that only a few short minutes ago they hated with the fire of a thousand suns was horrific. They sobbed for 10 solid minutes and declared that they wished we weren't their auntie and uncle. But they DID nap. Eventually. After the whimpering died down.

It is now peaceful once again in the Spoonful house. The kitties have even come out of hiding. When they wake up from their naps, we will do some coloring and then return them to their parents at Grandma's birthday party this evening.

I will miss them. Although they are a LOT of work and are Exhausting, I love the little guys and still look forward to having one of my own.

I'm sure I'll get better at it.

Maybe.

My Awesomeness

Can I just share with you my awesomeness? All week I've been doing inservices for our nursing staff. Inservices about Respiratory and ventilators and arterial blood gas interpretation. With power points. I think I'm going to make a power point presentation for everything I do from now on. It's great fun! I think that I might actually be a pretty good teacher too (which is good considering it's my future career). I can actually see on their faces if they're getting it. When I ask them questions. They can answer me. I feel like I'm finally gaining some respect in my field. I'm more than just a neb jockey. I get to use my BRAIN!
Since starting my new position, I've also noticed a huge reduction in my stress level. Direct patient care is stressful. It's not just the work assignment or the tasks themselves, but dealing with difficult patients, families, and situations. Working only 8 hour shifts and not 12 hour shifts also makes a bit of difference. I'm not going back and forth from days, 3-11's and midnights. I'm not so exhausted physically and emotionally when I get home from work that I have to decide which I want more a shower, dinner, or my bed. I actually have time when I get home to make dinner, maybe throw in a load of laundry, and more importantly RELAX!
This must be what normal people feel like.
It's pretty awesome.

Wordless Wednesday

He's a pretty, pretty princess!

When I'm 92

Spiderman and I were having an interesting conversation the other day. I told him that I want to live to be 92 years old. When I'm 92 I have all sorts of plans.

1. I'm going to dye my hair either red or burgundy.
2. I'm going to wear all sorts of outrageous clothes with bright colors and prints. I will also wear more hats. Fancy hats. To match my outfits....and my orthopedic shoes.
3. I love jewelry and hopefully by the time I'm 92 I will have an extensive collection to wear. With everything. Even sweatpants.
4. I will probably need to keep my glasses on a pretty beaded string so as not to lose them.
5. Two words. Red Lipstick.
6. I will force my children and grandchildren to drive me around because I plan on having many activities. Bingo, movies, book club, shopping, yoga. I plan to be a busy lady.
7. I will also probably embarrass above children and grandchildren by talking about sex, bodily functions, and cursing like a truck driver.
8. I'm hoping that I will actually shrink a little. It will add to my charm.

All of these are things that I could easily do now, but people would think that I'm a little strange. Well, stranger than they already think I am. One of my hang-ups is that I'm sensitive to what people think and say about me. Hopefully when I'm 92 I'll have gotten over that. I'll be free to do whatever I want because after all....I'll just be another crazy little old lady. After hearing this I'm sure Spiderman now hopes that I outlive him.

****Oh, and check out the book review section. I've added a few new reviews****

Weekend In Indy.

This past weekend I went to Indianapolis to visit a few girlfriends. Because Indy is around 2 hours away I don't get to go down to visit often enough. I have known both my friends since high school and now they both have children of their own. Whenever I visit them I get my "baby fix" and sometimes it's nice to just get away for a girly weekend. I honestly don't even care what we do, just that I'm not at home. At home there are always chores to do. Sometimes in order for me to relax, really relax, I have to leave. So, I left right after work on Friday and drove like a maniac to my friend Angie's house.
Once there, I kept myself occupied with several rounds of "Where's Tori?"
She loved it and could play for hours! She's getting so big. I can't believe her 1st Birthday is this week! Later, Angie and I worked on a mural in Tori's bedroom that we began this time last year. It's slow going.
I spent most of my time working on Ariel's face. There's a lot of detail work that I enjoy and Angie completely hates. I think it's coming along nicely. Maybe we'll finish before she graduates from high school.
Saturday afternoon we met up with my other girlfriend Gina for lunch and a day of shopping. We didn't really buy too much but really enjoyed the time together anyway.
Some of us had a rough day of shopping. We'll break her in eventually.
Notice my girlfriend Gina's cute flowered top. It was adorable and I forgot to ask her were she got it. Overall a great weekend spent with great friends! I can't wait for the next one!

Super Sarah--A Guest Post

Hi there bloggers! My name is Jackee, I'm found at www.runswithscissorsjackeeg.blogspot.com and I've been asked to guest post on my daughter Sarah's blog while she's out and about in Indy on a weekend excursion/visit with girlfriends. Now be off with you darling, while I post about you. (well, did you honestly think that I, your mother, could post about a random subject on your blog? No, not me, I have to tell a Sarah story, or brag about my lovely, talented, INSPIRED daughter to all of the internets.) If you are a regular at Spoonful of Sarah, you will know that she mentions her husband, "Spiderman". Oh, it has become an off handed nickname, one that he approves of because of his affinity to anything Spidey related. But did you know that Sarah herself has many aliases?
As a child, she was creative, bright and imaginative. She had a large interest in becoming characters from the movies or cartoons after she watched them on television. At the age of 2 she became Cinderella, at the age of 3 she was Mary Poppins and by the age of 4 and 5 she loved anything SUPER HERO related. She was fascinated by the special powers of the superhero's and really anything magical. Her imagination was intense, and often she tried to engage other kids in her fantasies, some mostly the boys would gladly participate. Given direction, those boys could follow commands, and play a role with her, so basically, they were the actors, she the director and so the story ensued. This was a popular pass time, dressing up, acting out little scenes of her fanciful mind. I had an old bag of odd clothing that we lovingly referred to as the dress up bag. Hats, belts, shawls, old prom dresses, glittery New Year's Eve shirts and accessories of all kinds could become the props and costumes of any given afternoon's play.
Remember the old Wonder Woman series with Linda Carter? Cheesy storyline, poor to midlevel acting, but wondrous lady with nice boobs and perfect teeth who had the magical powers. By day, Ugly Betty, but at the scent of danger, she spun round and round, flinging off her ridged serviceable spectacles and behold *Wonder Woman* in all her WICKED glory. Cute little strapless Red, White and Blue ensemble, with those gold cuff bracelets that bullets could bounce off of. She had a rope (or lasso- geeze, I cannot believe you didn't turn into a porn star-watching that kind of innuendo!) that could lasso you right out of trouble.
Check it out....
Sarah, using her imagination, and so should you, to see that she's just a girl, mild mannered bespectacled young woman in a visor....and as she spins…so off comes the glasses, visor and weird purple vest we found at a garage sale and poof!That’s as far as the costume got….you had to use your imagination to visualize the Wonder Woman get up.
Ah, childhood. Ahhhh Super powers.
Thanks for letting me guest post, babe. Drive Safely, have a good time!
Mom

It Feels A Little Like Fall Now

How do you like my new fall purse?It's brown leather and Nine West.

It matches my brown suede boots.

I love it!

A Free Poke In The Eye

Today instead of going to work at the Chamber, I went to man a booth at a Back-to-School Health Fair.

I had never been to a Health Fair before. My booth was on Asthma education and I also took oxygen saturation readings. Many parents wanted me to diagnose their children with asthma right then and there....from an oxygen reading and by just looking at them. Cuz I'm a doctor don't ya know. They cleaned me out of brochures before lunch time!
There was a preschool class that came and they were adorable!
Behind these screens (you know my nosy ass had to see what they were doing) they were offering free vaccinations, school physicals, and teeth cleaning. For the children. Many a parent tried to take advantage of this for themselves. People love FREE stuff (myself included) I swear people would line up for miles for a FREE poke in they eye if they could.

Happy Birthday Brandi

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I was in a foul mood and I thought it best to not expose you to that. Anyway, this past weekend was my friend Brandi's birthday. She and I have been friends since the first day of Respiratory school. She approached me that first day to see if I wanted to eat lunch with her. Most of our class was slightly older than the two of us and I think we were looking for someone to relate to.
The two of us went to the cafeteria where I got a sandwich, chips, and a pop. She had brought a lunch from home. We began chatting about where we went to high school, our prerequisite classes, and general get-to-know-you stuff. Suddenly, Brandi spilled her entire can of peaches down the front of her shirt onto her pants. She claims that she was mortified and thought that I would NEVER want to be her friend. Little did she know that was the exact moment I knew we would be great friends. I'm super klutzy and that is exactly something I would have done. We were kindred spirits.
As the program continued we studied together and were clinical partners. Our very first day of clinicals was also the first time either of us had EVER been in a hospital before. (Well, I think Brandi might have been a patient once when she was very little, but that doesn't count) We were only there about a half an hour when there was a code blue called. Our instructor grabbed us and rushed us over to perform CPR (again, another first for the both of us). Unfortunately, the patient died. It was our first dead body. I had never seen one that close before. I started poking it. Brandi started bawling. She locked herself in the bathroom for an hour and wouldn't come out. It was traumatic. We eventually got over it and continued on.
It was also Brandi's fault that I was sprayed with mucus one day before lunch. She was in suctioning her patient and our instructor told me that we could eat when she was done. It seemed like she was taking a really. long. time. I thought I'd poke my head in the doorway to see what was taking her so long. "Brandi, hurry up so we can eat" was all I managed to get out before the patient coughed and a huge glob of green mucus flew across the room and hit me square in the forehead. Good times.
We jokingly say that we majored in Respiratory and minored in 90210. At one of our sites the instructor was very busy with other activities so when we weren't making rounds she would sit us in an empty waiting room that had a T.V. and other activities. Every day from 9-11am we would watch 2 back to back reruns of 90210, finish our paperwork, and put together puzzles. It was nice.
After graduation, we both began working at the same hospital and stayed friends even though we eventually moved on to different things. (Mostly Brandi, I'm still stuck in the Chamber)
Happy Birthday Brandi! I hope this year is a GREAT one!

Even Superhero's Drink Coffee

Guess what I bought today? Do these remind you of anything? My husband loves them.

Sports

Can I just say? I am NOT sporty. I am not coordinated. I do not run. I'm more of a watcher. Tonight we went to Spiderman's softball game. Here's his jersey. I am so glad that there were enough girls that showed up tonight.
See this girl? She's swell. Just for showing up. If they do not have an even number of men and women that show up, they forfeit the game. Spiderman is the coach and last year he forced me against my will to play in two games.
I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon. That's why I wore flip-flops. So that I couldn't be tricked once we got there.His team has kept it's unbeatable losing record. They have not won a game, ever. I think that's an accomplishment and they should be proud. If you're going to be bad, at least be the absolute worst!

Random Thoughts for a Thursday

Here are some random thoughts for you since I don't have a "real" post in me.
Plus...I love making lists.

• Tonight is the first game of Spiderman's co-ed softball season. He plays on a team made up of people at work. The back of his jersey says....Spiderman.
• I am making homemade spaghetti sauce right now in order to make a veggie lasagna. I use spinach and portobello mushrooms instead of meat. It's quite tasty.
• I'm doing much better about my annoying co-worker and I think I have myself completely contained. I just had to tell myself that I don't really care how he acts. (also I have a small mantra of "He's not the boss of ME")
• My dr's visit went well yesterday. I got a prescription for 3 more months of Clomid and he's scheduling me for a Hysterosalpingogram. That's were he injects dye into my uterus and fallopian tubes and it cleans out all the cobwebs or something. If I'm not pregnant by Christmas he's going to refer me to a fertility dr.
• I have three large overflowing laundry baskets of clothes to fold and put away and I.Don't.Wanna.
• My grandma left the hospital today. A huge sigh of relief was had by all.
• It has been almost 2 whole days since I've had any chocolate and that is completely unlike me. I hope this doesn't become a trend.
• I REALLY can't wait for the new TV season to start. I'm tired of the crap that's on now. I want my shows!!
• I'm almost done with the 4th book in my Vampire series. I wonder if I'll go through withdrawals when I'm done.

That's all I've got today.

Wordless Wednesday

Almost looks like a bunk bed doesn't it?

Day After The Storm

We had a huge storm pass through here last night. I spent quite a while freaking out and sitting in my closet with a mag light, book, and my kitties. We had tornado warnings and a wicked thunder storm. In case you're new to this blog...I am TERRIFIED of tornado's. I'm a freak. Any other storm I don't mind. I enjoy watching a good lightning storm. As soon as the winds pick up and it looks like potential tornado weather, I freak out. I cannot sleep if we are currently under a watch...and especially if there's a warning. During this storm, Spiderman was all consumed with worry over his grill. Would the hail ruin it? Cuz he's got priorities. He moved it closer to the house to protect it from the hail and 75mph winds. Our neighbor's tree cracked in half and one of my routes to work this morning was blocked by fallen trees and high waters.
Again, it was a wicked storm.
I did, however, get to spend some time reading my new book Breaking Dawn. I'm enjoying it so far, but I am having issue with one thing. **Spoiler** The main character, Bella, is pregnant. As if I wasn't already surrounded by a million pregnant women already. And the media is currently saturated with bump watches and all things baby. Maybe I'm being oversensitive because of my personal difficulties getting pregnant, but COME ON! Even Bella's pregnant. By.A.Vampire. WTF? I already feel as though I'm broken. I don't need this.
At least I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow. Hopefully he can figure out where to go next because I'm done with my first round of Clomid with no success.
Wish me luck.

Tea Party

This past weekend was nice and relaxing. On Sunday, Spiderman and I went to a tea party. A real life tea party. I hadn't ever been to one that didn't involve 4 year olds. The girls wore "garden dresses" and the boys even dressed up too! It was hosted by a work friend of Spiderman's. No one wore top hats or monocles though. That was a little disappointing.

We drank different kinds of tea and had finger sandwiches, scones, cheeses, crackers, bread, and fruit. After a while, we even switched to wine and "port". It was actually really fun and a very unique idea. I just may have to host a tea party of my own pretty soon. I'll dig out my white gloves.

And maybe I'll wear a hat. A wide brimmed one.

And make Spiderman wear a smoking jacket. With a pipe. And a monocle.

And the Winner IS......

Drumroll please.

I went to random.org and had them select a random number to pick a winner.

The magic number is....6! The sixth comment was from the coconut diaries...you win the $25 Target gift card!

Email me with your address so that I can send it your way. I hope you enjoy it and get something fab! There's SO much to choose from in my favorite place.