I Saw This on a Hallmark Card

Why I Work ( a short story)

I like food.

The end.

Guess What? I'm Crazy.

I'm an obsess-er. Sometimes I get worked up about something and I obsess and worry and lose sleep over it. Sometimes it's something big, but most often it's something stupid and trivial and it's not a big deal to anyone else.... but it is to me. I take things personally. I get embarrassed and mortified at the thought of ever having done anything that would be remotely considered wrong (especially if it's work related) and I become crazed. Even months, years, later I need only think about it again and the cycle continues.

So why am I telling you this?

Because a little thing happened at work today. More of an annoyance. To anyone else but me probably. But can I let it go? NO. Here I sit obsessing about how I can be better. How I can avoid bad situations in the future. Beating myself up. I'm type A. I have to be perfect. If it happened to someone else, I would probably cut them some slack. But myself? NO.

I wish I could get my brain to shut off. Maybe I have OCD or something.

Do you ever find yourself obsessing about situations in which you were wrong? How do you let go and move on?

I Feel Like Shopping....

To coincide with the cooler temperatures this weekend I rejoiced in the arrival of the new L.L.Bean catalogue. It's like they knew I would be craving fall clothes. Well played L.L.Bean. Well played.

As I flipped through the glossy pages of the catalogue, I desperately needed clothes for my imaginary life. You know, the one in which I need an evening gown for when I meet the queen. Or walk the red carpet. Because quite honestly? Half the time I wear scrubs and the other half I wear yoga pants or PJ's .

But I REALLY could see myself wearing this

It's a fleece lined hoodie. How comfy does that sound? I'm always cold and this would keep me nice and toasty. I'd wear the shit out of it. It comes in solid colors too, but I'm digging the stripes. Here's the dilemma: Do I like the pink/navy....
Or the navy/green? Which one should I buy?
And for my love of footwear we have these wellies.

How flippin' cute are they? I could see myself puttering around my garden (if I had a real one). They'd also be perfect for wandering around the English country side. Which I am prone to do. In my head. I could probably find a knock off pair at Target though and these are a little pricey.

Seriously though. I do have a love of boots. And I'm still on the lookout for a pair.

What do you think of these? They're suede.


I think I may be liking these fringed ones a little more though. I don't know why.

I am a total sweater girl. I have TONS of them. I especially love cardigans. And this one in pomegranate is adorable! It has a waffle-like texture.

Wouldn't it be cute to wear with jeans and the fringed boots when I go to the pumpkin patch or apple picking at County Line Orchard?
Or this Cardigan with the same jean/boot combo.

Love it!!

And then this sweater? I can't really think of where exactly I'd wear this, other than on a trip to Scotland, because doesn't it seem perfect?

With the plaid skirt and all? This one I probably wouldn't wear in real life though. Not really a big fan of the hunting dogs on a sweater. And finally, there's this jacket.

I love jackets almost as much as I love boots and this one just seems sassy. I love the greenish color.

So tell me, what are some of your favorites? Do you think I absolutely HAVE to have any of these?

I Love A Clean House!

When I woke up this morning the temperature dropped to 72 degrees. It feels like fall weather. Have I mentioned I LOVE fall weather? I opened up all the windows in the house to air it out. After several months of sweltering heat and constantly running the air conditioning the air feels kind of stale.

With the windows open I felt like cleaning. All the bathrooms have been scrubbed, the floors mopped, the carpets vacuumed, laundry washed and folded, and every surface dusted. I've got a pot of beef vegetable soup simmering on the stove and homemade bread fresh from the oven.

Does it get any better than this?

I think I'll make a cup of tea and curl up with a book.

Weekend Wedding

For the past few days I've been fighting the headcold from hell. Today is by far the worst day. Why is it I always seem to get a cold just in time for my off days?
Because of my Dayquil hazed brain today I'm going to forgo a real post and just put up pictures of the wedding we went to in Indy this past weekend.

The bride (Spiderman's cousin) and groom.

The reception was a lot of fun and went into the wee hours of the morning. Not everyone could party that long.

My in-laws.
Spiderman and his brother and sister. I don't know why those boys always insist on making faces in every single picture they take.

It took a lot of convincing to get this picture where he wasn't making some awful face that made him look retarded.
Overall it was an awesome time and I may have drank way more than I had intended. Do you think that's what contributed to my cold?

That or all the sickies I see every day at work.

I'm Boring

The most interesting things that have happened to me lately:

1. My father ended up in the ER with early stages of Congestive Heart Failure...But he's okay now.
2. I painted my hallway...finally.
3. I read the first book in the True Blood series. In one day. I'm now hooked.
4. I went out for dinner with my new friend last night. I forgot how much I miss female company!

That's all I've got. What's new with you?

Winner and G.I. Joe

Ok.
So I went to Random.org and let them pick a winner for my Free Stuff Friday.
The number it came up with was.....3!
That means that the winner is Misti! I know Misti IRL so this will save on postage. I'll get that bag to you ASAP!

So what else is new?
I went to see G.I. Joe today. The review I read was awful, but I tend to think that movie reviewers in general are pretentious. I think they secretly hate all movies. I mean, what the heck did they expect going to see a movie, based on a cartoon, called G.I.Joe? Shakespeare? Ummm....I don't think so. You should go expecting stuff to get blown the hell up and lots of ass kicking and special effects. Which there was.

My experience was enhanced by the little guy sitting behind me. He was about 5 or 6 years old and his raw enthusiasm was contagious. His exclamations of Awesome! and Suckers! along with double thumbs up and fist pumping were cracking me up.

That, I think, is a far better review than some stodgy old movie critic could ever supply.

Too Tired.

I know you are probably waiting to hear the winner of my free stuff friday....but after working 12 hours today I'm kinda beat.
I'll post it tomorrow.

I See Dead People

I have a habit of finding dead people.

I mean, I work in a hospital and all so it's not like it's that unusual. I don't find them at the grocery store or hanging around my neighborhood or anything.

Because that would be weird.

Last week I found 2 people dead. One of the patients was alive when I first saw them. I assessed them (respiration's, pulse, breath sounds) and put them on a breathing treatment. I left the room to check on another patient and when I came back 10 minutes later....dead. He was a Do Not Resuscitate.

Another time I had a patient that I put on this machine we have called The Vest. It fits around the chest, inflates, and vibrates. The shaking will loosen any snot they have in their lungs so that the patient can then cough it up. I put my patient on it (who was still chatting with me, by the way) set the timer, and left the room. The patient was flipping through the channels on the TV. When I returned? Dead. Another DNR patient.

Once, while making my rounds first thing in the morning, I walked into my patient's room. The curtains were drawn and the patient was sleeping with the covers tucked up around her chin. Not wanting to wake her I started a nebulizer treatment gently placing it on her face. I then went to take her pulse. There wasn't one. I listened for breathing or a heart beat. None. She was dead. And getting part of a treatment. The best part? When I went to the nurses' station to tell them? They already knew. Usually they put a sign on the door letting us know not to go in the room. The bodies stay in their room until someone from the morgue can come and get them. These nurses were too lazy to put up a sign and were watching the reactions of the different people who were coming out. My coworkers? They are awesome.

It is the nature of my job to be around death. I try really hard not to take it personally. Especially when I have days like my day of 4 code blue's. Sometimes I feel like I'm a shit magnet. If you have an iffy patient who looks like they might code? Assign me that floor. Through no fault of my own, my mere presence on the floor will make them code.

Apparently I'm the Angel of Death. Or just REALLY unlucky.