Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thursday Thoughts or Deep Thoughts by Spoon Full of Sarah

My headache disappeared today and I feel much better. I had a busy day with two different sets of Respiratory students from two different respiratory schools. I'm busily trying to get them in a routine in preparation for next week when I'm on vacation and they'll be at the mercy of a co-worker.
Also, last week I bought a finch feeder and a bird feeder for regular seed and put them in my backyard. This week it's like freakin' wild kingdom out there. We now have a flock of regular birds, a family of bunnies, and a squirrel all hanging out near the feeders. Lots of fun for kitties to watch.
As for my deep thoughts for the day...I was inspired by Susannah's post earlier this week. She writes of how hard it is to make new friends as adults. I find this to be completely true. As a shy little girl I always had a hard time making friends, but it seemed to be much easier then than it is now. I've never had very many close girl friends. I find them harder to relate to, more petty and more competitive, than boys. The close girl friends that I did make were almost always poor choices. I had some that stole/slept with boyfriends (or ex-boyfriends). I had others that would tell me I was fat, unintelligent or too weak and accommodating. They loved to point out my faults and tell me that they were "helping" me. Why did I remain friends with them? Because they had good points too. And they were different than me. They were BOLD and AGGRESSIVE (translate: BITCHES) And I believed most of what they said about me.
In High School I was terrorized by a group of former girlfriends whom I'd had a falling out with over not wanting to sneak into an R rated movie when we were 14. Because of this one incident I was subjected to:
*Phone calls where they would call me horrible names and/or threaten to kill me
*I had my locker changed 5 times my freshman year because they would wait for me there between classes
*They started rumors about me and sabotaged any new friendships I might form
*They drove by my house and screamed obscenities at me
*Physically threatening me at any after school function I might dare to attend (sporting events, or dances)
This lasted 4 years. Freshman and Sophomore years were the worst but by Junior and Senior years they slowed down to a trickle and started to leave me alone more.

As you can imagine, I've been a little wary of making girl friends ever since and still made a few poor choices in college. Today I only have a few girlfriends that I consider close friends.
Angela, Gina, Brandi, Tracy--You gals are the best and we don't get together nearly enough!
I so would like to broaden my friend horizons....but how do you do that?
As kids you would play with whoever lived on your block. When you went to school you would make friends with the girls in your class, or in girl scouts or whatever activity you were involved in. As adults where do you make friends? With the people you work with? I have a few, but that can be a slippery slope at times. Should I join a class or something? Yoga, scrapbooking, underwater basket weaving?
Maybe I should take out an ad:

WANTED: Married, 30 year old female, no children (yet) looking for someone to share movies, crappy TV, shopping, spa days and girl talk.

Wait...that kinda sounds like Spiderman.
If only he were a girl. (although I'm infinitely grateful that he is not since that's not the way I roll.)
Anyone out there have any other suggestions?


tracy said...

OKAY, I have children, but I am definatly game to hang out, cause i can leave them at home....I enjoy your company and I am not mean or hateful and I would of kicked those girls asses for you...what a bunch of bitches! how dare they.

thecoconutdiaries said...

The sad truth I had to face about myself and my frienships is that I haven't been putting in the work. I've been waiting for someone to call me and invite me out, instead of taking the reigns and organizing stuff. Also, I have compartmentalized my friends (you call Her for spa days and Her 2 for book signings), when I should get them together. I suck at this stuff. Why can't all my friends just get blogs?

thecoconutdiaries said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Melanie said...

It's definitely hard. I'm way more social than my husband so it's hard for me to be a homebody.

I used to take Yoga and Pilates. I finally did join a book club, and I started taking computer classes. And then I started my blog and now I have a great group of friends who live in my city.

Taking the initiative and putting yourself out there is the the way to go IMHO.