Do you ever feel like you've become the worst possible version of yourself?
The meanest, cattiest, rudest, bossiest, most selfish version?
Sometimes I stop and listen to myself or see how I'm behaving and I instantly regret it. I'm embarrassed and spend days repeatedly beating myself up about it.
I guess the ideal thing would be to stop myself before I do and say these things right? But most of the time when I'm like this, I don't even realize it. I'm just grumpy, or not feeling well or just feeling like a huge bitch. Like this weekend. I had a migraine for several days and was hormonal. Several times I caught myself being just awful.
I wish I could say that I was perfect and never lost my temper and never said or thought a mean thing in my life...a saint if you will. I don't really foresee that happening anytime soon.
I have less of a problem accepting the faults of others than I do my own. I wonder what that says about me? The only thing I can do, I guess, is try better tomorrow because "tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it....yet." (from Anne of Green Gables)
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1 comment:
At least you admit it and are working to improve it. None of us are perfect and have bad days. Now, if it were everyday and the majority of the days, I would say you might need to get help. I think you are an awesome person.
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