An Interesting Development

I'm sorry I haven't posted much this week, but I've been busy with another work transition. It's something that was in the works for a while, but I couldn't really talk about it. As of the new year, I will be the new supervisor of my department! This week I have been "unofficially" learning my new job. So what does this mean for me?

• I won't be doing as much direct patient care, but I do intend to help my coworkers out when I can so I don't lose my skills. Also, I probably won't be able to help myself. I like the clinical side.
• I now get the hassle of making out the schedule for all 51 staff members at both campuses.
• I get a set schedule of Mon-fri. Which is both nice, and annoying. Nice because I don't work weekends, but annoying because I'm used to working 12's and only being there a few days a week.
• No more holidays. 'Nuff said.
• I do have a beeper which, depending on the day, can be a real pain in the ass.
• I also get a 10% raise. Hollah!

I'm both excited and nervous about this new development. Excited because I can do and learn some new things, and nervous because I know there will be people who will challenge me. We'll just have to see how it all turns out!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year's!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the whole Spoonful Family.

Oprah May Be the Devil

I have never particularly been a fan of Oprah. This goes back to when I was in college and was an audience member for her show. When the camera's are off she's not very nice.

Also, around that time I worked at Borders Books and would dread every book club announcement. Did you know that book stores are not told of the selection in advance? This is because until she announces her selection she can change her mind. Many of the books she would pick we would only have 1 of on the shelf. After the "big announcement" there would be hundreds of lemmings calling or coming into the store claiming that "Oprah said" they had to read this book and how dare we be out of it.

So you can imagine how long it's been since I'd actually seen an episode. A few mornings ago I was flipping channels and stopped at Oprah's Favorite Things episode. She gives away some pretty cool things. What amazed me however was the audience. There was a man rolling on the floor and sobbing over a Nikon camera. A woman was literally banging her head on the wall and sobbing over a diamond watch.

This, to me, does not seem like a proportional response.

I mean the frenzy this audience worked themselves into over stuff was appalling. Granted it was really cool stuff, but come on! I have never seen anything like it in my life!

I'm sure some of you have seen these episodes. Are they all like this, and what do YOU think of it?

The Santa Question

I distinctly remember the moment I knew there was no Santa.

I was nine years old. There had been rumors circulating since I was in kindergarten and one snarky little boy told everyone in class. I chose not to believe him because my mother said that he was a bad little boy that Santa probably didn't visit anyway. I was never one of those kids who searched the house for my presents. I loved the surprise of Christmas morning so much I never even tried. It was a random day two weeks or so before Christmas and my mother was in the bathroom calling to me that she was out of toilet paper and could I bring her some. I went into the laundry room where we kept the spare toilet paper and saw a big black garbage bag and peeking out of the top was Topple (remember Topple?). The game I had specifically asked for from Santa.

I have never had a good poker face. Everything I am thinking is always blatantly showing all over my face. I'm sure my mother could tell there was something wrong. I was conflicted the rest of the day and eventually my mother asked me if I had seen my presents. I nodded. Did that mean there was no Santa I asked. No she said. I was quiet for a moment. And no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either? Nope she said.

Finding out about Santa is not only a rite of passage for us all, but it's also the death of magic. Up until then we have that blind belief that anything's possible. We believe in Santa, and unicorns. We believe that our parents are perfect and can fix anything. It's kind of sad when those beliefs are gone.

That's not to say that I won't tell Jackson about Santa. I want him to have that magic. Even if it's only for a short time.

How old were you when you stopped believing?

My Grown-Up Christmas List

Not too long ago, my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas. When you're a kid, you can rattle off a list of Barbies, My Little Ponies, and Strawberry Shortcake like nobody's business. As an adult, I had to really think.

Here's what I really want for Christmas and it can't be bought.

1. A clean house
2. A date night with Spiderman
3. An extra 8 hours in the day to get everything done
4. To lose 20 lbs
5. 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (not just 8, I'm greedy like that)

What's on your Christmas list this year?

Just Good Enough

Maybe it's my flair for drama, but I have always been prone to periods of melancholy. PPD was one of the things I feared most about having a baby. I wouldn't say that I have it, but sometimes I do feel very overwhelmed and a bit blue. I'm such a perfectionist and expect so much from myself that I seem to never live up to what I expect I can do. Motherhood is tough. I worry about not being a good mother. That when Jackson is fussy or cries too much it's a reflection on my parenting.

I worry about spending enough time with him. I worry that my husband will die and I'll have to do it myself. I worry that I will die and my husband will remarry and that woman will be mother to my child. I already hate this imaginary woman. I'm that crazy.

I'm sure it's a combination of hormones (I still haven't started my period again, umm...when will that happen?), being overtired, stress about $$ and the holidays, and upcoming changes at work(more on that later). I'm sure as time passes I will either get better at managing everything or resign myself to being "just good enough".

Exercise is good

Since I'm off today, I decided to assemble Jack's exersaucer. He loves to stand and would do it all day if he could. Which makes it hard to get anything done, so I dug it out of the crawl space and decided to see if he likes it.

So far, so good. There is plenty there to keep him occupied and he liked the bouncy-ness of it.

But mostly?

He just wants to suck on it. Apparently it's yummy too.

I Hate Snow

So I started my morning off in a ditch.

I had to work this morning and left my house at quarter to six. We'd had some snow this weekend so I always leave extra time to get to work so I can be careful. I was only a few blocks from my house on a side street when I hit a patch of ice and slid off the road. I wasn't really that far from the road, but just enough to need a tow truck. I have never called a tow truck before. I called Spiderman who gave me some numbers. The first number said they'd send someone right out. I put my hazard lights on and waited. 15 minutes later, a tow truck pulled up. I couldn't remember who I called and assumed it was them. The guy said that since I'd already called someone, he wouldn't "poach". I was like fine, whatever, I'll just sit here in my ditch then. As he was pulling away, I got a phone call on my cell from the other company saying they had to go to an accident and I should call someone else. F***!! I could still see the other guys tail lights, but he wouldn't come back! So I had to start over and call someone else.

And wait.

I finally got to work and was only 35 minutes late, but it set the tone for the rest of the day.

And to think it's only the beginning of December, much more snow to come....