Breathing....It's Important

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Black Thursday

My laptop died. I think it had something to do with a glass of lemonade knocked over by one of my asshole kitties. Needless to say I may have to take a small break from blogging until this tragedy is resolved.
Stay tuned......

Worldless Wednesday--Happy 50th Mom!

  (taken last Saturday)

Hospital Corners

Many, many moons ago when Spiderman and I first started dating and he first started sleeping over, I had a little test for him.  Well, it wasn't necessarily a test.  It was a curiosity.   I have to get up several hours before he does for work so that makes him the last person out of the bed.  The first time this occurred I discussed with my girlfriends my curiosity over whether he would make the bed or not.  They didn't think he would.  I was unsure.  

Sure enough, when I got home I went into the bedroom and he had made the bed.  Just how I liked it. (hospital corners, pillow shams and other decorative pillows in place) Everyone agreed.  He was a keeper.

Spiderman and I have been together 6 years now.  This is what the bed looks like most days. (this is a good day...he at least threw the comforter over the whole mess)

So my question is: At what point do men stop trying?

Slightly Better Mood

My next writing assignment is to go someplace that I've always wanted to go and base a story on it.  Since I can't go to my first choice....France....I thought that a more reachable goal would be to go to the new yarn store that opened up in my town not too long ago.  To help lift me out of my funk I signed up for a knitting class.  My grandmother taught me how to crochet when I was a little girl, but I've always wanted to knit.  The classes don't start until October, but I'm still excited.  Just going into the store gave me tons of ideas for my story.  And maybe I'll get a nice scarf or hat to boot!

To further improve my mood, I had a package on my front porch.  I love to get mail of any kind, but especially packages!  I had ordered a few things from LL Bean and they finally came! (well, I say finally, but it really only took 3 days)

I've always wanted this coat, but could never decide on which color to get.  I finally decided on the Stone color.  I can't wait for the cooler fall days so I can wear it.  It's flannel lined!

I already have a flannel nightgown from LL Bean.  It's plaid.  I Love, Love, Love it!  It's my Favorite nightgown since I am always freezing in the winter.  Spiderman hates it, but I don't care.  It reminds him of little house on the prairie.  I just had to get this vintagey-looking one. 

It's going to be a divine winter!

Scary, Crazy, and Out of Control

This past weekend I did not work on editing my story.  I didn't do much of anything.  What I did do, however, is have a major meltdown. 

I could feel the darkness creeping up on me all week prior to this.  I was restless, short tempered and a little bit down.  By the time I was driving home from work on Friday I was starting to unravel.  I had started spotting that day and with it came a major mood swing and not for the better.  I started crying on that drive home and those tears weren't that far from the surface the entire weekend.  I could not stop crying.  Not just crying...shoulder heaving sobs.  I was severely depressed and felt hopeless.  The rational voice inside my head was saying "pull your shit together, Sarah"  but I couldn't help it.  It was beyond my control.  

I found an article on the internet about side effects of Clomid, two of which are mood swings and depression.  This was beyond mood swings.  This was uncontrolled crazy.  This was by far the worst meltdown I've had since starting that stupid medication, but I'm afraid to stop taking it. I don't want to ruin any chances.

Of course it didn't help that we picked Saturday to meet my newest nephew who was only 5 days old. Or that a very pregnant friend of the family was also there, and here I was....barren.( I know how dramatic that sounds, but that was the crazy talking)

It took me several days but today I actually feel like the normal only-slightly-crazy Sarah.  I do have to say that I'm a little bit afraid of what the next month's hormones will bring.

Thanks for Your Support!

I'm glad everyone enjoyed my story.  My teacher, however, did not.  He recommended many changes, so that's what I'll be doing this weekend.